Prom Season Extras & Flakey Child Support Payors

Word Count 540

FB and Instagram are full of proud parents posting prom pictures over the past few weeks and I love seeing the kids in Prom finery with big grins or forced smiles adorning their young faces.

One post really caught my attention. It read:

Prom Tickets- $120 dollars

Prom Dress (on sale) $257 dollars

Prom Shoes (final clearance) $32.99

Prom Accessories for both $100.99

Prom Hair/Nails $80.98

Car detailing because I can’t afford Limo $15.00

My daughter getting to be a normal teenager and feel like a princess despite her father’s abandonment and refusal to pay child support: PRICELESS


This post took me back to a conversation I had with a woman who had the nerve to say, “if you make enough money on your own then child support becomes a non-issue.”

I don’t think money is either a non-issue or the only issue in the willful absence of a parent. But as previously stated the reality is, she audibly stated what most people think but don’t say.

If you need child support, you are poor. If you insist that your ex financially support his children and take legal steps to do that, you must be desperate for money or an absolute gold digger.

This is degrading for women and enabling for childish selfish men.  All custodial parents have the absolute RIGHT to seek and obtain child support for their children.

Children deserve love and support from BOTH parents. Support by definition means 1. To bear or hold up, 2. To sustain, 3. To maintain by supplying with things necessary for existence: provide for, 4. To uphold.

And I repeat: Children need and deserve this from BOTH parents.

The vision statement of the Administration of Children and Families, which is under Health and Human Services and oversees the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement reads:

Children, youth, families and individuals, and communities that are resilient, safe, healthy and ECONOMICALLY SECURE.

Consider some of the comments to the above post about this young lady going to her first Prom:

“I was not able to send any of mine, no Proms”

“we used second-hand stores, borrowing suits and dresses”

“save for this stuff way in advance to be able to do it”

“I drive rideshare and eat leftover food at work with my boss’s permission”

One woman asked, “why do they have to spend money on hair and nails?” A man responded, “because it’s a time in their adolescent life where they get to feel like a princess for one special evening”

Kids need to know that no matter what the socioeconomic status of their family BOTH parents care and contribute to their lives. In every way.

Sorry deadbeats, that includes money.

It takes two to make a baby. It continues to take two to contribute to that baby’s needs. There is no justification for the burden to be placed on one, what it took two to create.

Child support needs to be enforced. Using legal means to collect what is owed is not about revenge- it’s not about being a “bitter woman” or “bitter man”. Using all legal means at your disposal to ensure your children have everything they need to become healthy productive adults is simply good parenting.


Simone Spence is not a lawyer and she does not provide legal advice. She was a child support collections consultant for over 20 years and has written three highly regarded child support collection books. She developed the collections platform “Athena.”

In general, only a licensed attorney can give legal advice, but there is a distinction between “legal advice” and “legal information.” Any non-lawyer can simply recite laws, but it is illegal for a non-lawyer or unlicensed attorney to offer legal advice.

Reprint Permissions available upon request